The Curse of the Queen Mother

I have a little pottery figurine of the Queen Mother, given to me as a birthday present by good friend Paul, many moons ago.

I think it has supernatural powers. When ex-Royal butler Paul Burrell wrote a expose book about his time as Diana, Princess of Wales personal assistant the Queen Mother figure topped off the mantle piece shattering her pottery walking stick.

After this unfortunate incident something else spooky happened. Princess Margaret, the Queen's gin-drinking, smoking, slut of a sister died of a stroke. The Queen Mother took another dive off the mantle piece and a leg smashed off (cleverly repaired by moi with superglue).

After she died at the ripe old age of 101 years old. I respectfully moved the Queen Mothers statue upstairs to the bedroom. Imagine my horror waking the other day and finding it on the floor with the head broken off! What horror will now befall the Royal Family? Death? Disease? Divorce?

Watch this space and remember where you read it first!

Cultural Corner

Off to the theatre last night! Went with Gos and the lovely Simone to see Pam Ann (gettit?) at the refurbished Pavillion in sunny Bournemouth. Basically a stand up comedy where she plays a airline stewardess with props, wasn't sure what to expect but it turned out to be really funny. She seems to have quite a cult following, especially with airline crews - the place was chocca with them last night (lots of homosexuals), and they lapped it up. I suppose you can check her out on YouTube-thingy.

Unfortunately the stop cock fiasco trundles on relentlessly, the water board couldn't work out why they couldn't turn the water off completely and will be digging up the road! when, they couldn't tell me, hopefully soon as they've left me with a trickle of water to survive on. The central heating/hot water boiler has also entered its death throes as well. God knows what the third thing will be that goes wrong - bad luck always comes in threes.

I feel the world has started to conspire against me again.

Thursday Funny! (no3 in series of 2,000)

Well I've decided to give Garfield a rest - he just wasn't funny anymore, well he hasn't been funny since 1978. In fact I might give the cartoons a rest completely, although hits to Idle Worship have trebled since I stopped writing anything.

I have the honour of waiting in all morning for the Bournemouth & Hants Water Board to arrive (anytime between 9am and 2pm). Basically my stopcock has broken and needs replacing under the sink, but the plumber couldn't locate the external one to turn off the water flow, it could be 1 of 4 and one of those was broken. Its bound to be mine which is broken.

Still, its a shitty weather day - getting a bit worried just under two weeks till May and no sign of sunshine.

Does anyone else think that blogging is getting a little tired these days?

Garfield Triple Bill