The Clash

Is this the greatest Rock 'n' Roll
album of all time?

Especially for First Nations (above)

Can you give a home to poor Nobby?

Nobby a rare Rhesus Macaque monkey is on the lookout for a new home after a Police raid.

Those cunts at Boots the Chemist tipped off the cops after developing a film for a customer and discovering images of the monkey using a canabis pipe and looking disorientated (again nosey parkers in Boots, instead of working setting themselves up as censors riffling through peoples photos, mind you so would I).

Essex Police mounted a seven-man raid on the home of Nobby's owner, vowing to get a court order to take the monkey into care.

But when officers tried to rescue the animal it turned on cops and screamed and growled, forcing the lawmen to back off.

The creature was apparently content with it's environment and unwilling to be rescued.

But animal welfare workers are now seeking a responsible keeper for Nobby after he recently found himself in need of a new owner.

At the time of the raid PC Dave Clark said: "Nobby's strong and was determined not to let anybody near him. "Even though he's castrated he's still a very dominant male. I was afraid he'd tear my arm off."

The police found no drugs at the flat. But the primate's then owners confessed that their pet had helped himself to their hash.

The exotic monkey is native to Afghanistan, India and China, but they are rarely found in captivity in the West.

Could you open your home and heart for poor Nobby? I was thinking that he might make a fun new addition to Chez Naff, unfortunately Mr. Stinks the cat is horribly unsocial & I have a fox that has taken up residence in the back garden under the shed.

Dear Dr. Frobisher

Dear Dr. Frobisher We've known a group of boys for six months now and we have been going to a local youth club with them every friday night. Recently one of the boys has come to mean more to us. One Friday he was embarassing. Now he's not talking to us. Please help.

Joanne & Vicky, Westbourne.

You obviously are a immature, sarcastic type with a loose grip on reality. He just showing instinctive reactions and, in the short term nothing to worry about. Just try to control it. And try to understand that these aggressive feelings are perfectly natural.

Dear Dr. Frobisher I have been going out with a boy called Alan for four months. Every time I go out with him he loses his temper. I've been trying to break off with him, but I can't, because ever time I say it he breaks down and cries. then I can't help but go back with him. I feel I'm tied down all the time, not allowed to speak to other boys. I am really getting fed up and I don't know what to do. I have tried to talk to him, but all he says is he would hate to lose me.

Melanie, Boscombe.

It seems to me that you don't really want to go to bed with him - at any rate, not yet. Of course your feelings are aroused and of course you are tempted.; And only there weren't all those other reasons - parents, peer pressure, fear - holding you back, you'd hop into bed with him like a shot!


Dear Dr. Frobisher In my job working in IT time goes so slowly. I get really hungry by tea-break. So I stuff myself silly out of boredom! I know it's stupid but I don't want to end up as a big fat bloated pig!!

Madge, Southbourne.

First, get the local newspaper and scour the entertainments pages, the small ads, the personal column - the lot. You may find there are discos you never knew of, plays on in the park, bands visiting the nearest big town, jumble sales organised by the Scouts, Donkey Derbys, Whist Drives . . . even if it sounds ridiculous, at least give it a try. If you go along in a gang, you're bound to have a giggle, wherever you are!
Go on shopping trips to parts of the town you've never been to before, too. Scour the backstreets for little curio and junk shops, go into tiny old-fashioned clothes shops and old bookshops - all these places are full of treasures, just waiting to be found!