Halloween taken care of

Dr Frobisher answers your problems

KNOBBLY KNEES
My knees are very knobbly and always crack when I sit down. Does this mean something is wrong with my bones?

MJ, Canada.

DO wear black stockings with seams. Then when boys chat you up, sit back, cross your legs and hitch up your skirt till it's just above your knees.
It's your silly chubby knees causing him to mumble and stutter.


ORAL SEX
When we first had oral sex, he thought it was great. Now every time I try he says it hurts. I don't want to hurt him. What can I do?

John, Yorkshire.

LAVISH layers of cream on desserts. Ask for extra helpings of potatoes, chips and stodgy puds. Nosh all the carbohydrate-ridden stodge you can manage, ask for seconds, it'll counter your tremendous energy burn-up. Nibble nuts between meals.


HE'S CHANGED
I am nineteen years old and have been living with this guy for seven years. I love him very much. The trouble is since he got out of jail last year he has completely changed. Where he used to spend all his time with me, he now is hardly home at all. He drinks a lot and he also takes up with couple of other women. When I ask him about it, he gets mad. Sometimes he even hits me. He says it's none of my business. I don't know what to do any more.

Bruised, Bournemouth.

You're a normal, healthy, fun-loving person. Life is for living, but then again you don't believe in over-doing it. Wear well-cut trousers with a matching pure wool jumper. A little bit of everything keeps you happy.

Wild about Harry!

Harry dogging at Avon Country Park - "over here Frobi"

Harry snorting

Harry finding the joys of man luv

Bonding with friends

God bless the Queen & the Royal Family :-)

England expects

THUMBS UP FOR ENGLAND!

A past conquest of England Rugby star Lawrence Dallaglio says that he had a favourite sexual party trick. He could withdraw at the point of climax and then ejaculate only after shoving his own finger up his arse. Such ingenuity demands our support tonight (England vs South Africa World Cup Rugby Finals). Its just a shame that England Footballers won't pull their fingers out and try and emulate the success and team spirit of their compatriots with the odd shaped balls

Mr Gaskin's Curiosity Emporium

Dorset is fast becoming the blogging capital of the world. Please welcome Mr Gaskin, drop by and say high. Highly recommended.

http://mrgaskinsemporium.blogspot.com/

Monday morning

I walked to work this morning, we've got some surprisingly mild weather considering its October. The trees are putting on a great colour show and shedding their leaves - it's nice taking it all in as you walk, helps you wake up gradually. Getting into town and passing the Spar convience shop a young dosser in a door way said:

"Spare a quid for a cup of coffee."

He still had a can of Special Brew lager in his hand. I didn't answer, just carried on walking, staring ahead not even acknowledging him.

"Thank you. Have a real SHIT day."

I laughed, out loud. That tickled me, fucking cheek.

Oh Jeezus, what a Burma!

Its hard not to feel upset about the tragedy emerging in Burma. The crackdown by the countries military junta following peaceful protests is terrible. Discontent started with a 500% rise in the price of fuel, which also sent the cost of foodstuffs soaring. The first marches were by students and monks and quickly spread, unfortunately the protesters have been met with curfews, tear gas and being shot at. There is no doubting their courage but why the sudden outpouring of concern for human rights from the West's leaders, after all the last protests were in 1988? And why is it twenty years late?

Gordon Brown gave us the answer in a comment piece in the Independent when he came to the heart of the matter - "Burma should be one of the most promising economies in south-east Asia. Instead, it is one of the poorest countries in the region."

Roughly translated - Burma's military junta just aren't very good at ensuring that enough of the country's natural wealth ends up in the hands of the western corporations. And recently, instead of opening the country up to western investment, the regime has become more friendly with regional superpower China. During the first seven months of this year, China-Burmese trade reached £600m up 40% compared to last year. So suddenly the West swings behind the idea of sanctions - maybe if the junta can be ousted then we could find more PR friendly people with whom we could do business.

The clashes in 1988 led to mass repression and the deaths of 3000, but extracted the promise of an election out of the junta. This was won outright two years later by the NLD, personified in the West by Aung San Suu Kyi who's been under house arrest for 11 years. Suu Kyi has achieved a Mandela-like status in the West in recent years, and Gordon demanded that any solution in Burma have her "at its heart". However her party has little control over the uprising. In fact they've been pleading from the sidelines for the gatherings not to become an excuse to topple the regime, preferring the adoption of sanctions by the international community to bring the junta to the negotiating table.

Burma solidarity campaigners have been screaming for sanctions for twenty years but apart from an arms embargo, the EU has only issued 'guidance' on investment. The largest western investor is French oil conglomerate, Total. The UK follows with $26m in trade but 'recommends' that the multinationals shouldn't increase trade with Burma. The EU - policing its guidelines - has confiscated a wallet-busting four grand. With such a brutal regime in power, it's also a little embarrassing when by 2000, the EU was responsible for almost three-quarters of all investment and nearly one third of those corporations doing business in the country had their headquarters based in Europe. Profits from foreign investment have helped double military spending at the same time the public health and education systems have crumbled. Outside investment is not the answer in Burma - it's the problem. What the west would like to see in Burma is a transition to 'democracy' of a wearyingly familiar market variety.

Its funny how your not presented with the full story on your TV news channels. Yet again China and the West are carving up the world for their own benefit. We're living in very dark times indeed.

http://indymedia.org.uk

Time to go

"Oi! Frobie!"

"Whaa . . . who said that?"

"It's me! the toast - look at the toast its me Mickey Mouse!"

"Oh for Christs sake, whatever next."

"It's time to go Frobie, back the UK."

"Shan't, I have a sick note till the new year. I'm having far too much fun, the weathers excellent and the weed harvest festival it due at the end of the month. Juanton is on the verge of proposing to me. Out of the question."

"Juanton's gone, along with your wallet - run off with the maid, Kitten. Dr Blick has been struck off by the General Medical Council and is currently in Dorchester Prison awaiting sentencing. They've noticed you haven't been to work for the past month, that bitch from Human Resources has smelt a Rat!"

"I'm a Rat and your a Mouse!"

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said Mickey Mouse.

"I don't much care where –" said Frobi.

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Mouse.

"– so long as I get somewhere," Frobi added as an explanation.

"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Mouse, "if you only walk long enough."

"I've no money now."

"Sell me on Ebay, that'll get you enough money to get home."

"But I have so many posts - stalking Simon Cowell - lunch with James Hewitt."

"England needs you Frobi, get packing."

Simon Cowell's house in Marbella!














James Hewitt (Princess Di's old boyfriend) having lunch at the next table at Metro, Puerto Banus.


Growing balcony style in Spain.

Marbella Madness

A beach party! the warm evenings are just the thing for a few beers and a picnic (jerk chicken, feta cheese in filo pastry, five-spice prawns & salad nicoise) on the beach. But be careful where you sit, they do have "stingers" on the beach.