Make a date in your Calendars!

Looks like February is gonna be a busy one. I have a second career as a female impersator called "Mavis"!!!!

On the weather front its fricken' cold - be snowing all week and I have been trapped in the house with only the mangy cat and an oz for company - roll on the Spring, seen a few Snowdrops but there prob. crushed under the snow now. Isn't nature wonderful?

Vote Frobisher

Now's the time for all good men
to get together with one another.
We got to iron out our problems
and iron out our quarrels
and try to live as brothers.
And try to find a piece of land
without stepping on one another.
And do respect the women of the world.
Remember you all have mothers.
We got to make this land a better land
than the world in which we live.
And we got to help each man be a better man
with the kindness that we give.
I know we can make it.
I know darn well we can work it out.
Oh yes we can, I know we can can
Yes we can can, why can't we?
If we wanna get together we can work it out.

And we gotta take care of all the children,
the little children of the world.
'cause they're our strongest hope for the future,
the little bitty boys and girls.

We got to make this land a better land
than the world in which we live.
And we got to help each man be a better man
with the kindness that we give.
I know we can make it.
I know darn well we can work it out.
Oh yes we can, I know we can can
yes we can can, why can't we?
If we wanna, yes we can can.

Pope's Christmas Message

"Remember, every time you take it up the ass we lose an acre of rainforest"

Merry Crimbo!

Don't worry it'll be a memory in a few days time. Christmas - a neverending cycle of misery and despair. Still, try and enjoy yourselves.

Wish List 2

Were you as speechless I was when I saw this ad? How lovely, Crafted from genuine hardwood, these high-quality side tables feature charming artwork set under a bevelled glass top, and the legs and edge of the table are handsomely carved for a classic finish. A felt-lined drawer opens to store everything from remote controls to coasters, and the base features a removable shelf - perfect for newspapers or magazines - decorated with a sketch of your choosen breed.

And guess what only £119 plus £4 postage and handling each!

The only thing which is spoiling this Christmas bonanza is Ben Cohen has gone missing! Have you seen him? There has been nothing posted on his website since May.

I'm worried sick.

Christmas Present Wish List

I thought I would start to list present I would like to receive for Christmas. Mainly because last year was piss poor:- a bottle of ginger wine (non-alcholic!), X-Men 3 (the worst in the trilogy, and I'd already seen it). A coin purse made from the scrotum of a kangeroo (thanks Beast), various acrylic jumpers (all returned to shops on Boxing Day for cash refunds) & a quilted hot-water bottle cover (which I am rather fond of).

When I was a little boy I remember a shop which had a Mynah bird which used to mimic words, rather clever like a parrot. And also a few years later there was one in a local pub which used to abuse customers as they came through the door. What great pets these birds make! I'd love one, perhaps it would fill the gap left by the tragic death of Coo-Coo. But you just don't see them any more - where have they all gone?

Man Bag Mania!

We've all had a good laugh at Beast's grubby little man bag, a rather sad affair - stuffed with items he treasures. It reminded me of a bag left in the school changing room that no-one would claim, not even worth nicking.

Well lets have a look at my bag, in a different league for sure. It's a "Shilton", a by-word for quality for "people in the know".

Would you like to see the contents? Of course you would!
Well, from left to right we have:-

A fun size box of "Curiously cinnamon Cereal" - an essential if your blood sugar level starts dropping.

A can of Stella Artois, Frobi's favourite lager. Again an essential to prevent dehydration.

My Colt Shower Shot attachment. As it says on the box "This water accessory easily installs onto any standard shower for an incredible burst of ater pleasure and cleansing sensation. Soft, Jelly dong screws into the chrome flex hose for a secure mount. Unscrew shower head. Add washers to prevent water leak and screw in hose." This is an essential bit of kit, people still talk of my impression of the Trevi fountain in Rome when I hooked it up to the power shower in the changing rooms of the David Lloyd Sports Centre and shot artistic jets of water out of my mouth!

Red hankie ;-)

Johnsons Baby light oil spray, to give me a sultry glow.

Leather cock strap to keep everything up together and give that "bulge appeal" that women like so much. The male equivalent of a push up bra.

A pink Vivienne Westwood "Fuck your Mother" t-shirt, always a head turner!

Hemp Body Butter, great for dry skin! and smells divine - but I keep getting followed home by hippies.

"Fuckin Criminal" Boxer Shorts (30" waist). Worn with low-slung jeans ala Hip-Hop.

Pro-Sport Jock Strap, well you never know when your going to be invited to a Underwear party!

Roll-on deodorant - we here at frobishersfunpages spurn aerosols cause of the damage to the planet.

Hollow Rubber pipe weighted with lead at one end. Because of all the nutters out there! You gotta look after yourself.

Black balaclava.

Wet wipes.

Machismo magazine - Latino Bad Boy Issue! The Worlds #1 Latino Sex Magazine.

Blackout Eye Pads.

Skipping Rope - for those impromptu work-outs - wherever you might be.

2 packets of king size rolling papers (pure hemp of course) with an eight of Red Lebanese Hash and a quarter ounce of sticky black Afghan cream hash (personal - for medical reasons, my Social Anxiety Disorder).

A big fat wallet stuffed with money and a few sweeties.

You've all been MeMe'd - lets see what ya got in yourbags!